“Mom, what superpower would you want to have?” was the question my 20-year old son asked me as we were watching the new Xmen movie. He was visiting me for the first time at my new home, having recently moved in with my boyfriend. It was a great afternoon with him. His expressions of happiness for me really reassured me that he is on a good path. The compassion and kindness that he showed at a very young age still ringing true in his newly formed adult heart. Having recently moved himself, discovering his personal freedom, boundaries, desires and limits, both still adjusting to home life without the other. His response to my answer also reassured me. I answered, “I guess telepathy because I could make everyone want peace and end war.” He replied that he would do this too, which made my heart sing, that my son cares and wants this for the world too. He of course added, “I would make people give me a lot of money too”, but I know he wouldn’t take all the money just some. He would share.
I’ve recently decided that what I really want to do with my time is write. Most of my life has involved doing something in the present in the hopes of doing something different in the future. Does that make sense? For example, I went to college for 4 years so that I could work as a wildlife biologist, which I did for 10 years. More recently, I cleaned houses for several years so that I could pay my bills and support my business and blogging until those things supported themselves. This last plan didn’t quite work out. However, it’s just what we do as humans, always working and planning for the days to come. Sometimes things work out as you prepared for them to be, and other times we can find ourselves on a completely different path from the initial direction. There is nothing wrong with this way of living, but I am ready to approach life in a different way. I want to live fully in the present for the sake of the present!
Stand in the truth of my purpose and passion, which is to make a difference with my words, with my writing!
Last night, I started reading the book, Silence of the Heart by Paul Ferrini. It begins by saying, “You cannot be in the heart unless you are in forgiveness of yourself and others. You cannot be in the heart if your breathing is shallow or labored.” It was really good timing for me to read this. It’s a personal goal of mine to be more heart-centered, and I was feeling scared and sad about something. This reminded me that all I have to do right in this moment is just keep breathing. Let the thoughts fade and and come back to my breath. Sounds easy enough, but it actually takes a lot of practice for someone like me who likes to plan, strategize, create, imagine, worry or whatever you like to call it. Thanks for the reminder Mr. Ferrini!
Have you ever read the childrens’ book, Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney? Well, I have, many times. This beautiful story was given to my son when he was just a baby by a sweet woman named Daphne. She inscribed some loving words in it, and it became a part of our family, helping to shape my son into the big-hearted fellow that he is now. That is the power of a book, it can imprint on your soul, strengthening your foundation. In this book, we read and hear the message that a young girl’s grandfather shares with her, “You must do something to make the world more beautiful”.
Writing has always helped me thru the hard times. At the age of 12, I remember rewriting the lyrics to “Mama’s Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys” by Waylon Jennings. My version was titled “Bitches Don’t Let Your Puppies Grow Up to Be Guard Dogs”, and it was writing exercises like this that helped me keep my chin up thru some serious neglect when I was a young girl.